I have a confession. I feel flat, uninspired, unmotivated. There, I said it. I dared to say it even whilst sitting here at an airport on my way to speak at a conference to inspire and rock people’s world. I’m busy. So Damn busy. When I’m not speaking at conferences, inspiring, motivating, influencing, facilitating, I’m on a plane. When Im not on a plane, I’m in the office managing people and stuff. When I’m not in the office I’m at home cleaning, making lunches and smooching my kids and husband. When I’m not doing that, I’m on the beach walking, swimming, feeling the sand between my toes, watching whales and our local tribe of wallabies eating, scratching and jumping. The reality is that currently I spend 30% of time doing what truly lights me, working with people I love. I used to feel largely energised, expanded and on the edge of growth, life, learning.
I was sharing this with a friend today and he said to me ‘How can you be unhappy living where you do, doing what you do, having what you have?’
You see I live in Byron Bay ten steps away from the sand. I am a behavioral change expert, applying neuropsychology to transform safety and wellbeing in the workplace. I get paid to travel, speak and strategise. I have an internationally successful company, two wildly fabulous kids and a loving partner who makes me feel like I’m the center of his world. So what gives?
Not sure. Still figuring it out. This inquiry is a work in progress. I think I’ve lost sense of my personal true north – I think it’s been a gradual erosion, an unconscious one the result of making choices that I ‘should’, ‘have to’, ‘must’ rather than freedom and sense of purpose. How I’ve been spending my time has been a reaction to external events, people, opportunity and ‘shoulds’.
I’m so damn full. My inbox is full. My hard drive is full. My car boot is full. My garage is full. My contacts are full. My diary is full. No wonder I’m feeling heavy. Time to Empty. Time to slim down, and hit delete and make some space to reconnect with my true north – being happy, feeling free to get it wrong, connect, create, re-shape, challenge, be wild in thought and spirit. Time to re-calibrate and make choices that bring me back to my true north. Time to delete those relationships, friendships and clients that de-energise. I believe in being wildly happy, connected and passionate. I believe in playing all out, making a difference, living joyful, compassionate and wildly connected zone. If I don’t feel it, it’s time to hit delete. Let’s see what shows up. For someone so results focused like me, I’m going to play a different game.
Today, my flight was delayed by three hours. I decided to spend the time on cleaning up 15 years of contacts. I looked at each contact and checked in with myself ‘does this person energies/ de-energise?’ Does being with them, working with them and hanging out with them energise or de-energise? Is there something unsaid that needs to be said? I contacted those I needed to and deleted those I needed to. Damn. It felt good. Life is now. Press play – but before you do, consider where might you need to hit delete on so that the play is powerful.